Thursday, August 7, 2008

INSTANT DARNATION

Tired of hearing that Heaven is “da shit”?
Cannot stand the sound of harps?
Shaking at the prospect of winged angelic drones spying on you day and night, beatific smiles plastered on their pasty mugs?
Try our new Darnation Instant Breakfast.
We guarantee it will un-save you.
Because only Darnation Instant Breakfast is made with the real blood of newborn babies.*
Can’t stand your sanctimonious relatives now? Why spend all eternity with them?
Darnation Instant Breakfast – for those who like it hot.
Darnation Instant Breakfast – ‘cause you are baaaaad!
Darnation** Instant Breakfast - see you... in Hell!

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*Cord blood only, harvested in full accordance with state and federal laws. No actual babies were harmed in the manufacturing of this product. Claims of unsaving not verified by the FDA.
**Darnation is a trademark of Halliburton, Incorporated. “Halliburton – We brought you the Iraq War, now we bring you Hell!”

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