Monday, October 26, 2009

MEET MY GERMAN PUBLISHER: THEY TORTURE FLIES IN THE NAME OF PUBLICITY


I am very good (too good for my own good) at yelling at my publishers (search this blog, man), but this stunt from my German publisher, Eichborn, is a bit much. Their slogan is: "The publishing house with the fly". (Yeah, I know. They could have chosen any kind of badass animal for their logo, but they went with the humble fly: The one animal that truly relishes dung.) And so, to garner respect and draw attention to the mighty abomination of their booth, they released a few hundred (?) flies with little Eichborn banners attached to their legs into the big hall at the Frankfurter Book Fair.

Cute, some say.

I personally see little cuteness.

Attaching a banner the weight of a fly to a fly's hind legs and then setting it "free", to flutter in a stutter, to panic, perchance to die -- not my idea of cute. More my idea of cruel. At the end of the video, we are told that the banners were attached with wax and came off spontaneously "after a few hours". What a relief! I'm sure they told all the lil' fellahs: Don't worry, it'll come off!

Here is my proposal for the next book fair: Maybe we could pierce the nipples of all Eichborn employees and hang copies of Omega Minor from them (OM no doubt being their heaviest tome). (Only for a few hours, of course. The holes, after all, will close.) Hey, who doesn't like nipples? That'll make it onto Youtube million-count heaven no prob!

A little pox, therefore, on Eichborn. I wish I could take my book back from them. Given that the novel did diddle-do-squat in Germany (perhaps, one now wonders, due to the fly-brained efficiency of Eichborn PR team?), I am sure they'd just as happy be rid of me.

Here is my real proposal: If you're German and you want to read my book -- go to the library. If you want to buy it: Go get the English version. Either way: Don't give the Eichborn assclowns your money.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

...oh shit...too late! I already bought it (okay, long before the book fair, but to make it even worse - I have been there on the fair. Clueless and dreamy. Shame on me. It's like..oh no, I'd better avoid this comparison of what different people at different times alledgedly have not known .... Can't belief how stupid (we) (German) humans are. Sorry. Nice country. Nice species. Beast of prey.

Claro (FFC) said...

Wow. Should I cancel the french promotion? I intended to attach OM to flies' nipples…How german is that?

Anonymous said...

...very German ;)
and don't forget - we Germans have a cute humor (see our comments, only) ..and some of us have to be stupied, haven't we?
by the way...
beast of prey was a bad metaphor.
all the best, be lucky with whatever you want to attach to a flies' ass for promotion, but perhaps you could at least think about it - before you do it. Perhaps you can leave your human point of view for only one minute behind.